Parents Getting Their Time Back
The Importance of Self-Care
Now that school is back and families are getting into the swing of things, it can be easy for parents to put their own needs at the bottom of the list. It can all feel overwhelming as parents have the responsibility of work, school drop-offs and pickups, caring for their children after school, and managing household duties; there never seems to be enough time in the day. Reclaiming time for yourself as a parent is not a luxury; it's an important part of taking care of yourself and your family.
Parenting is a constant pressure. There is always something that needs to be done, someone that needs your attention, or other responsibilities weighing on you. When you are constantly giving to everyone else, it can be easier to bottle everything up and push your own needs aside. Taking time for yourself helps you take a step back from that pressure and put you first. You are deserving of being put first, being made a priority.
Making time for yourself does not mean you are not committed to your family or that you do not love your children. This time allows you to rest, recharge, and reconnect with yourself, and allows you to feel more capable and present when parenting.
Asking for Help
To get this time for yourself, it might look like asking for help. Recognizing that you do not have to do everything alone is an important aspect of reclaiming your time. Start by looking at the people and resources around you. This could mean having a conversation with your partner about creating dedicated time in your weekly schedule that is just for you. If it fits within your budget, you might consider hiring a babysitter for an hour each week. You could also reach out to a trusted friend or relative who may be able to spend some time with your children while you take a break.
Asking for help is not a failure. It is recognizing what you need and reaching out for the support that can help you meet those needs. None of us are meant to do everything alone. We need our communities, our families, our friends, and our support systems. Even a small amount of consistent time for yourself each week can make a meaningful difference in how you feel and function.
Self-Care
There is no specific formula for self-care, and there is no "right" way to do it. The only thing that matters is whether it genuinely helps you feel cared for, restored, or connected to yourself.
When it comes to self-care, there is no specific way that it has to look. Social media can sometimes create the impression that it needs to look a certain way: a perfectly decorated spa day, an elaborate morning routine, or an aesthetically pleasing activity that looks relaxing in a photo. There is no specific formula for self care, there is no “right” or “wrong” way, the only thing that matters is whether it genuinely helps you feel cared for, restored, or connected to yourself.
Your self-care might look like:
Trying a new hobby;
Going for a walk and spending time in nature;
Taking a new workout or fitness class;
Meeting up with adult friends and having uninterrupted conversations;
Reading a book without having to multitask;
Sitting quietly with a cup of coffee;
Watching your favorite show;
Going somewhere alone for a little while;
Taking a nap or simply resting;
Doing absolutely nothing for an hour.
Self-care does not have to be productive. Sometimes, resting is enough.
Your Needs Matter Too
Your own needs matter, and it is not selfish to want time away from your children; it is something that is needed for you to keep putting your best foot forward as a parent. An expression that helps put this into perspective is the airplane oxygen mask analogy. During an emergency, passengers are instructed to put on their own oxygen mask before helping children or other passengers. You can not help your children or anyone else, for that matter, if you are not helping yourself first. So as the school year gets underway and the routines begin to settle in, consider making yourself part of that routine, too. Schedule the time. Ask for help. Take the walk. Meet the friend. Try the hobby. Sit quietly for an hour. Whatever self-care looks like for you, give yourself permission to make it a priority.
