Back to School
As schools are releasing their plans for the 2020-2021 school year, families are anxious about how this is going to play out. There are so many unknowns right now. Whether schools open fully, virtually, or hybrid, there are so many questions. Are children going to be safe? Will they keep their masks on? Will there be enough socialization if they aren’t in school every day? Will they fall behind? What happens if their is a COVID outbreak in the school? Will teachers be safe? Is there adequate technology to go around? Can kids learn the same without the human contact? Phew! So many unanswered questions! Yes, we have every right to be anxious.
So what in all of this can we control? The only thing we can control is our response. And our response as parents needs to be as positive as possible for our children. We can’t let our anxiety hurt them. The first day of school is still their first day in whatever grade they are entering. So yes, it will be different than you ever imagined school to be for them, but this is still their moment. You can mourn privately, but outwardly celebrate their growth, their strength, their moving forward. Post the first day of school pics. Make a nice breakfast. Buy that first day of school outfit, but maybe add a matching first day of school mask. Yes it’s weird, so celebrate the weird. This is their weird. This is their childhood, the times they will tell stories about. Let’s fill these kids with fun stories to tell, not just stories of what was lost. Whether your child is heading to kindergarten, middle school, high school, their senior year, or college…celebrate! They made it!
We all know that this school year will be full of the unexpected. Maybe we will get the pandemic under control and kids will slowly increase time spent in the actual classroom. Maybe the pandemic will get worse and schools will shut down for a while again. We don’t know what is ahead. We need to take this new life one moment at a time, one breath at a time.
This is very hard for our planners out there. Those people who schedule out every aspect of their lives. Those people will need so much support during this time. Whether it’s a parent, teacher or child who needs that consistency, be there to support them. Change is hard and right now, change is the only constant. It’s so important to be aware of everyone’s mental health right now. If you suffered from anxiety prior to this, it is likely 10x higher than it had been. If you never had problems with anxiety, you might now. So, adults, no matter what role you play in a child’s life, be sure your mental health is being taken care of so that you can 1- be an example to children that mental health is important and 2- have the strength to help our kids get through this. They need you to be healthy, now more than ever. And as you check in with your own mental health, check in with the children in your life, whether they are your own children, your neighbors, your nieces/nephews, or your students. We all need to be checking in on our youth. They need us. They need to know it’s ok to be scared, but also that it’s ok to have hope.
As taxpayers, we need to encourage our schools to hire more mental health providers. More of our children are in need of these services. These services need to be readily accessible. We don’t know what the future holds. We do know that whatever it is, our kids need support getting through it. For the first time as parents, you can not say “when I was a kid…” and assume you know what your kids are going through. You don’t. You did not simultaneously live through a pandemic, a depression, civil unrest, and fear of fascism. These are all things that taken alone are overwhelming. Putting them all together is something you only see in the movies and you would say, “that’s ridiculous, that’s over the top. That would never all happen at one time.” But here we are…
So breathe. Take time to notice the good things around you, the good people around you. As Mr. Rogers taught us, notice the helpers. Notice the birds, the butterflies, the flowers. Listen to the rain. Soak up the sun. Enjoy the small moments. Those are what we need right now in order to take on the big stuff.
Listen to your kids, their hopes and their fears. Support them. Praise their strengths, reward their perseverance and ability to survive. Celebrate their successes. And if they are hurting, comfort them. And if comforting them isn’t enough, get them help. You’re not a bad parent if your child needs mental health treatment. In fact, getting them help early makes you a good parent. They will learn positive coping skills, and get through this thing stronger than we could imagine. And you’ll help prevent adulthood issues like alcoholism, drug abuse, domestic violence, etc… We are all experiencing this trauma together. But experiencing trauma now doesn’t mean we have to experience the negative effects from it forever. Treating trauma early has the most positive results for recovery and healing..